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Tuesday, 2 July 2019

Heart break; How to solve heart break in 3 steps- Umarisah

Best things to do when heart breaks occurs


 Heartbreak is a sign that you truely and deeply loved the person who broke your heart, the deeper your feelings for the person is , the more intense it would be if the person breaks your heart. The pain that seams not to subside with time, the sadness and loneliness of being heart broken. The fear of not getting over it , the probability of falling into depression, The fear of not getting someone as good as the one you lost .



You sometimes find yourself lost in your own thoughts thinking about that person whom you loved so much but ended up breaking your heart . At times you wonder what you did to deserve to be disappointed. You repeatedly tell yourself you would ignore the person and forget anything ever happened between you two  just to find yourself stirring and his/her picture, wishing the heartbreak was jut a dream but the reality of the matter is that It as happened and there no need looking back but forward.



The way forward is getting over the heartbreak in one piece and moving on with life.

  The longer it takes for you to decide on moving forward the harder it would be for you to get over the heartbreak and the closer you get to slipping into depression.The goal of this write-up is to help you to get over the heartbreak no matter the stage  your heartbreak is



.Heartbreak is in stages and the time it takes for you to get to the final stage (suicide) depends on your emotional quotient (your ability to control your emotion).




>>>Shock stage :- this is the initial time , when your partner just told you "it's over" or "this relationship won't work" or "am breaking up with you" or"I need space, I need to work on my self" or "it's over between us" etc. Different people have different annoying or funny way  of breaking up with their partner .At this stage , it seams like a bad dream , your heart sinks into sadness and you become angry , you confront your partner asking him/her  what you did to deserve it .



In case when you really did something wrong, at this stage, you asking her to give you a second chance and giving her reasons why you deserve a second chance. If you are able to recover your relationship at this stage , you are lucky  but I'll advise you to read this  write-up till the end .


 This stage can take as long as 2weeks  and also as small as 6hours. For those who really don't know what they do wrong  ,Perhaps your partner finds someone else , maybe he/she finds someone who has a better figure or more money(more than you can offer) or good in bed or willing to offer sex while you wanted to wait till after marriage  or someone who is supposedly more good-looking etc.. At this stage you may get so angry and decide to also forget anything ever happened between you two. You hide your feelings in the deepest Dept of your heart and pretend to be alright , you feign a smile off your face and quickly get any thought of the person off your mind. But deep down you know that you are heartbroken.

 A major mistake you may make at this stage is shifting blames or trying to justify yourself. It will only make things worse . Let your partner cool down first before explaining yourself, Accept your fault.



What to do ;



step1;
               The first step to recovering from heartbreak is  accepting the reality of the situation and let out your anger and frustration . Release your anger in a peaceful way(s), you may decide to hit the gym or vent your anger on a punching bag some do ease their anger by shedding tears . Just let out the bad energy , then take a long walk to clear your head then have a peaceful chat with your partner once again during which you accept your fault and promise to make It up to him/her  provided you are the one at fault, but if your partner is at fault then you just give him/her a last chance to explain their side of the story, You may think "I clearly saw what happened he/she cheated on me, there is no hope for this relationship but the fact is that  things are not always what they seem. So hear your partner's own side of the story with a clear head  and  if all your partner has to give is a sincere Apology ,  it just means he/she has realized his/her fault .




 At this point your decision should be made considering the following ; what you guys have been through, the fact that he/she accepts his/her fault without shifting blames around,what you'll miss about him/her , your own future and your love for him /her .




>>>Restless stage :- At this point you have already tried salvaging your relationship but it didn't work out . This is the next stage after the initial shock. The heartbreak begins setting-in and you begin to realise the reality of being heartbroken.Most people might advise you to keep yourself busy  but by doing that you'll become someone who is hot tempered, a workaholic, hopless romantic, always sad ,All in the long run, you may be advised to start dating someone else either to spite your partner or  to make you forget about him/her the problem in this lies when you choose someone else in too much of a haste and start pretending to be Happy whereas you are still nursing a broken heart, you may lose in both ways . These two ideas are good but they are both cover-up mechanism . Dating someone else will only work if you truely fall in love with someone else whom you decide to start a new relationship with.


What to do ;


step 2
               Think about your fault in the breeakup perhaps you don't give your partner enough time , maybe you are too proud or hot tempered etc identify them  and start working on rectifying them so that it won't be a problem in your future relationships so as not to suffer thesame fate. Then get busy working on yourself and making yourself a better person. Remove the idea of" your former partner taking you back " from your mind , it will only make it hard for you to move on.



>>>Depression stage:- At this stage the heartbreak has really brought you down, you spend most of your time indoors and you don't spend time with your friends again, you isolate yourself .At this time you  either start losing too weight (growing lean) or you start putting on too much weight (Obesity) .which is a gateway to different illness. You spend most of your time thinking and sobbing,  you gradually lose focus and interest in living
What to do ;

step3;

   Let them people around you ,i.e family and friends be aware of  your ordeal, they really care about you , don't hide your pains from them.  Remember that the person that break your heart might be the only one you've ever loved that way but he /she is not the only one in this world , you might not see it yet . Just remove the probability of you getting back together with your partner from your mind and look  at your self , look at your own life. This is the point you need to realise  that you've loved the person enough, it's time to show love to yourself since your partner is not willing to do so , go out ,dress well , take a very long walk , go take yourself out on dates, go to the  cinema, go to the stadium.




Do things that make you see the other part of the life, the happy one .The truth is that there is always happiness in front , all that you feel depressed for not having are jut right in front of you , it's just a matter of time before it matterialise just get yourself  prepared for it . Spend much time with your friends, have fun and avoid alcohol like a plague.


>>>Suicide stage :- At this stage you  conclude that all hope is lost, that you wouldn't ever recover/get your partner back or moving on and that there is no more reason to live, so you decide to give-up on life and just take your own life (suicide) .



 This is the biggest mistake a person can ever make cause there is no solution/joy in the afterlife through suicide. No matter the situation, suicide is not an option at all.

     

Cherish your relationship , work on it, nourish it  and take good care of your partner , love him or her with all you heart and trust each other deeply. There is always happiness waiting for you provided you don't get carried away by the wave of negative emotions (heartbreak).

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