Wednesday, 3 July 2019

How To Prevent Yourself from being Heartbroken - Umarisah

       Often times when you meet couples who have broken-up and we wonder how to prevent our own rrlarelation from reaching that stage . Your relationship may be very strong , you both love each other from heaven to earth and you believe you two will surely live happily ever after (marriage)  just for an incident to cause you guys to break-up .You wonder why your strong relationship and love and affection towards each other was not able to withstand that ordeal/situation.

       You have to realise that for your relationship to be broken apart just like that , then something (s) must have weakened your supposedly strong relationship. You don't just get broken hearted  in one day , it is an accumulation of many things that do result in being heartbroken. Most people believe they know the origin of the break-up bit the truth is that they really don't . What we assume to be the cause of the break up is actually just a trigger .

       Your journey to break up begins with little little excesses which you ignore but gradually buildup Into a bomb waiting to explode  till the point a situation/occurrence act as a trigger and  you guys break-up , leaving you heartbroken. In this write-up , we will be discussing the major things that leads the road to heartbreak and how to prevent them;
>>>Trust :-

       The major key to a happy and long lasting relationship is trust. Lack of full trust in has caused alot of break-up, you claim to trust your partner but whenever the time comes to prove that trust , you always seam to disappoint .Each time you disappoint your partner or break his/her trust , a crack is made on your relationship, the more you distrust or break their trust, the more the crack and the closer you are to a break-up.
What you should have done ;

       You need to understand that loving someone means giving the person an opportunity to hurt you but trusting the person not to do so. Trust your partner no matter what you see or hear about them , give them the opportunity to prove themself to you. Try and do things that shows how much you trust your partner on a regular basis, this helps to renew the bond and try as much as possible to always say it to their face , the words "I trust you ...". Might sound trivial but it actually works wonders

>>>Ego :-

        Your way or the high way, you always make the say In the relationship . You assume your partner's idea is not good enough making them to have a low self esteem. You continue making all the decisions till the point where your partner start developing a phobia for contributing his/her own idea with the fear that it might annoy you. So even they have the best idea of a solution to a current problem you are both facing , they won't  speak up and you will both suffer the consequences.
What you should have done ;

       You need to understand that a relationship should be a symbiotic relation .Always ask for your partner's opinion on every decision you want to make as regards to your relationship. When your partner tells you stuffs like "you decide","it's up to you"," you know what's best""I have nothing to  say" or just "okay" , whenever you ask for his/her opinion,  then there is fire on the mountain. All these phrases all mean the same thing which is " since you are not interested in my opinion whatever you do is fine by me , shows you don't trust my decision". You have to appease your partner, let them take charge of making decisions and the you gradually start chipping in the idea of you two combining your ideas and deciding on a middle point which would be fair to both parties for your decision making.
       You two  might have different opinions but there is always room for a win//win situation. You two can meet at the middle and arrive at a decision together. This way your partner feels secured knowing that any decisions you both make as per regards to your relationship wouldn't be one sided and both parties would benefit equally.this strengthens the bond of your relationship


       There has been lots of situations where people have caused a scene  just because they saw their partner hugging or spending time with other people, maybe the opposite sex and they now start acting asif they own their partner and then you fight and reconcile later , just to repeat thesame scinerio later, this gradually portrays you as Immatuare in the sight of your separate them from their friends especially those of opposite sex. Each time you do this , a big crack is created on your relationship, weakening it
What you should have done ;

       You need to understand that your partner is not your property. You may feel jealous whenever you see your partner with the opposite sex , but you have to remember that he/she choose you and that they love you and wouldn't do anything that could hurt your feelings. Calm down and approach with calmness, by so doing you are showing a level of matuarity that will make your partner love you more. Let your partner know how you feel about the whole thing so that she could give you the assurance that you have nothing to fear. Under no circumstance should you separate them from their friends. You can join the  group if you still feel insecure and be friends with his/her friends but don't get too close, it might set off wrong signals

       You'vebeen dating for a while and you always follow thesame routine, you believe you have a constant relationship but your partner is getting bored. You see your partner's smile but you don't see the sadness beneath that face
What you should have done ;

       From time to time , bring in something new  into the routine. Try the normal stuff you guys usually do in other ways, probably you guys do go to chill and relax at the beach , this time , try swimming, try picking shells and make her a souvenir to remember the moment with , try horse riding, you can also try surfing if you are the adventure type. Ensure that there is no dull moment, see beneath your partner's cover , see what they truely feel and spice things up .

       Starting a relationship is a leap of faith you either live happily ever after or you get your heart broken. The choice is yours , your actions today all sums up to what tommorow brings

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